I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
