you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
