when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
