Nicole vs. Life
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
