I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
