I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
