We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
