it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
