he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
