Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
