Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
