She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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