No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
