Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
