i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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