I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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