Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
