Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
