why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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