Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
