We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
