You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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