he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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