As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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