Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
