i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
