Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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