This show inspires me to have sex in space
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
