i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she peed on how many people?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
