he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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