Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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