it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
