Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
