We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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