youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
