So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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