absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
