I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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