Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
