Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
