I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
