I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My ass is underappreciated
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
