I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just google imaged poop.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
