after a month anything with tits is on the radar
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
