I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
