I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
