He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
