New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
