Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
