their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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