Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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