We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
